LOST

AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
......nope....AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHA!
Ok that is a little better. Crap what a stressful weekend. I am officially at my wits end! If I get lost one more time I swear.... NO really though here it is:
I am on my way out to ocean shore for the Easter weekend to spend it with my mother in law. Which I really didn't want to do as I would miss church, my home church were I was supposed to be a greeter, and backed out to spend it with her cause she called and asked us to come, which she never does. So I thought, 'well Lord should I go?' and I think it was the right thing to do.
Thought about going to church there, but the night we had in the hotel was TERRIBLE! Did I mention that my husband could not go with me. Which was fine, I was ok with that. UNTIL, I got lost at every exit I took on the way down there! Did I mention that I had three kids in the car. To be honest I didn't want to
really go down there in the first place, but I wanted to at least try, for her, for me, and for my husband and our kids. She really doesn't make an effort to come and see us, as she doesn't drive to far away from home.
Anyway we got there and got to the hotel. The night was horrible as my 7 month old is teething and halfway sick. My two year old is crazy and was having a hard time adjusting to his new surrounding and kept asking to go home. My 7, wait I mean 8 year old was a wonderful help and just wanted to go swimming, which we did for about 10 minutes, but that was enough for him! Thank you Jesus! We did not sleep at all that night.
I wanted to go to church as I had found some online to go to. But with the night that we had I wasn't about to drag sick sleepless kids to a church I did not know. Through all of this I am wondering what the Lord is trying to teach me,as I am feeling farther and farther way from Him.....
'what do You want me to do Lord? Where do You want me to be?'
Where on earth is my Bible that I am longing for...to at least help me cope with the stress of it all!?
Got to mom in laws house for "EASTER" did all the baskets, egg hunt, watched my children eat gallons of candy, ate dinner/lunch, had no more patience as my little ones where begining to melt down.
Then my step daughter had an hour+ melt down because her little brother scribbled two lines on what she was writing on. Just let me say this: She does not act like that at my house, and if she did I would spank her you know what! I am still mad about how she acted!
Again, as all of this is going on, 'where are You Lord, and why am I not including You in this Easter? Was it a mistake to come down here? I was trying to do the right thing? Put others first or know wait, that is love them? I thought that is what I was doing by coming down here? Do they even know the sacrifice I made? Was it worth it?' I am not sure.
I did learn that my mother is the biggest help ever!!!!!!!!!!! She does so much for me when she is around! Thank you mom! I called her and told her on my way home.
I wonder what my day would have been like if I would have stayed home and done what I wanted to do....worship my Jesus and thank Him for all He has done for me. Teach my children the meaning/importance of this glorious day. Forgive me God for not putting You first. Yet those words still don't seem enough. How do I make it up to You?
I got lost on the way home also, at every exit.

I am still lost.....